Gin (trixiegirl) wrote,

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He left me.

Not physically -- he was already so far away. He just refused to come close. And in so doing, refused me.

The last time I saw him, he was mine. The next time I see his face is going to rip me apart. And I have no idea when I will get to see him again.

I was really happy with him.

One year, two months, two weeks.

How do you get over someone who supposedly loves you just refusing to be with you? If someone who loves you that much doesn't want to stay with you, what is worth loving? Is love worth trusting? I really can't believe that anyone other than my family will love me as long as I live. Or for more than a couple years, even.

He's gone he's gone he's gone he's gone he's gone. I may never see him again. He will date someone else. He may marry someone else. If I ever bother with love again, it will have to be very different. And I will have to be very stupid to think it's a good idea.

I miss his smile so much. I miss his stature. His arms. His hugs... His hair. His tattoos. His butt. His jokes. His music. His pictures. The way I felt when I was with him. The way I felt when we were happy. Not doubting myself.

I don't want him back. I just want him never to have left me in the first place. Or the second place.
It could never be the same now. I will never be the same now.
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